My father was a tyrannical professor of medicine who seemed to relish humiliating his students – especially while making rounds in the hospital. The residents would hide behind each other to avoid being singled out to answer his impromptu questions.  And sure enough, one fated day, Charlie, a first year, came to rounds with little sleep and even less preparation.  Needless to say, my Dad nailed him. Charlie mumbled some feeble response knowing he was in for it and with laser focus, my Dad said, “You know, you should read more.” So, Charlie, hell-bent on redeeming himself, studied like a maniac and came to rounds the next time with the cockiness of an over-prepared medical genius. And this time, fortune smiled. My Dad called on him and Charlie, resolute and beyond ready, launched into an almost poetic diatribe replete with every bit of medical minutiae he could muster. “Sheer brilliance”, Charlie thought smugly to himself. My dad paused, stared right at him and said, “Next time, don’t read so much.”

Ok, so you’ve got the floor, you’re prepared as all get out – what’s missing? A few essentials:

1. Define your audience and what THEY want and need to know. I know, we’ve all heard this before but think of it this way. When YOU’RE in the audience what holds YOUR attention?  It’s not enough to be prepared and informed. You have to put yourself in their shoes and really imagine what matters to them. Then tailor your words to THAT. Oh, and don’t forget to add the spices. (We’ll get back to that.)

2. Build a framework. Most great books, films, plays etc. have a beginning, middle and an end. And a point (or two). Your speech or writing really needs this. If you were to have a SUPER-OBJECTIVE what would that be? Write this out for yourself FIRST. Why are you telling this? What is the main purpose of this particular communication? And then, give it a TITLE! Brand it, so you can readily conjure its meaning. You’d be amazed how this can clarify the task at hand. Then, with your beginning-middle-end structure in place, create your “subset” talking points. In other words, how will you illustrate each segment? This leads to the proverbial packing of the suitcase:

3. Furnish the structure. This is where you get to be creative. There are myriad ways to illustrate and reinforce a talking point. Here are those spices:

• ASK QUESTIONS!!! (The best way to engage an audience is to start a dialogue! Oh, and by the way, questions are a GREAT way to cool your nerves.)
• Tell a great SHORT story – every great speaker is a great storyteller. Bar none.
• Use great visuals – we remember better visually, anyway. Case in point: think of any great advertising campaign.
• Include a clever, insightful quotation – a smart chuckle works like gangbusters to make a point.
• Be imaginative with your use of data or statistics – surprise us with some unique, memorable facts!
• Add some Universal Humor  - NO joke telling! You run the risk of offending. Just simply illustrate the specific ways we all can laugh at life.
• Give colorful examples from your own experience – concepts have a way of requiring additional explanation with a frame of reference.
• Put YOURSELF into the content – I mean this. It has to have YOU all over it or it will come across as inauthentic. Trust me, an audience can smell a phony a mile away.

4. Choose your medium. Is this communication a video, a PowerPoint (or PREZI, which I find more captivating), a Skype or teleconference, a teleseminar, a webinar, a keynote or a meeting, etc?  Each one has specific time parameters, styles, guidelines and audiences. So do your due diligence and ferret out the specs before you jump in. There is a big difference between filling up a large auditorium and speaking into a camera.Be sure you time yourself and PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE until you’ve got it down well enough to come “off the page” and make it your own. The bathroom mirror is a good start. But after that, try it out on someone OTHER than yourself. A word of caution, kids are a tough crowd. Use bullet points or notes only if you’re really familiar with them. Otherwise they become a bad crutch. Make those notes a mere reference so you can soar with your material.

5. Get fired up! I’m not kidding. We’ve just witnessed what can happen in a national debate when someone isn’t raring to go. It can cost you. You may know from whence you speak but if there’s no PRESENCE, as in ENTHUSIASM, PASSION and CONFIDENCE, you lose us.  Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist at Harvard Business School talks about the “Power Pose”.  She says that for two minutes before you have give any important communication, sit or stand in a position that makes you feel powerful and open to energy coming in. Now this doesn’t mean you strike the Wonder Woman pose on the podium, but rather, find a quiet, private space before you start. Think about it, if your body is curled up somewhere checking your text messages, you are shutting down and not allowing yourself to raise your testosterone levels (power) and lower your cortisol (stress). Tiny tweaks like this can lead to big changes in your delivery. Finally, fake it ‘til you become it.  If nerves and self-doubt are keeping you from owning it, just keep going. Our bodies change our minds, our minds change our behavior and our behavior changes our impact.

Oh, and by the way, Charlie, the redeemed medical resident, is my Mom’s cardiologist.

Wendy Scharfman is a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer. She is the Owner and Founder of Coaching for Effective Communication, a business she created to help her clients develop powerful communication strategies that create real results. She is the Communications Consultant at Family Intervention Services, a New Jersey non-profit, and an adjunct faculty member at the SUNY/Levin Institute where she teaches entrepreneurial business. Wendy specializes in Executive Coaching, Leadership Training and Team Building, Public Speaking Competencies, Message Refinement and Media Training. www.wendyscharfman.com

Some of us have to “wear more than one hat” for our livelihoods and on the occasion that one accomplishment or effort can fuel another, we get to truly witness and subsequently share the fruits of our labors.

Some of you may not know this about me, but in addition to being a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer, I am also a professional actress. In fact, I chose to start my communication coaching business because of my acting background. I’ll clarify. Briefly. (My advice, always.) As an actor, it is your job to entertain an audience and to be confident and specific in your choices so that your performance is more dynamic, engaging and effective. The audience gets to relax because they trust your ability to do your job well; they enjoy your performance and hopefully come away with some real value. Inspiration comes, as we know, in a variety of packages.

Oh wait; did I just describe the relationship of ANY speaker with an audience?  Aye, there’s the rub. All of the tools and techniques I have learned as an actor are the same for any speaker with any audience. No matter the medium.

So, for these past 9 weeks with 3 to go, I have had the privilege of portraying Amanda in Tennessee Williams’ “The Glass Menagerie”. We had a sold out run at the Walnut Street Theatre in Philadelphia and I am currently touring the East Coast. It is most certainly an iconic role in an American Classic and therefore challenging, daunting and at the onset, downright terrifying. As actors, we are always asked, “How did you learn all those lines?”  The answer is usually met with something like, “It’s part of the job”.  But this time, I must admit, I struggled. I was petrified not only of being able to hold all of those magnificent words in my brain, but also of being able to place my own stamp on a mammoth role played by a legion of legendary actresses before me. And during this whole process, which, incidentally, has been one joyful, happy dream-come-true, I kept hearing myself speaking to my clients about all of the ways you can conquer your fear by making a speech your own, creating something of value and forming a relationship with your audience. When that happens, it is magic. And that, my friends, is heaven. A win-win.

I am beyond grateful for this opportunity, as it has made me braver and more confident in my ability. I consider it a huge battery recharge and an affirmation of what I believe is a key to success. You must certainly be prepared, but, more importantly; you must love what you do. And don’t let fear keep you from sharing it with the world.

Wendy Scharfman is a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer. She is the founder of Coaching for Effective Communication, a business she created to help her clients become dynamic, confident speakers who can inspire action by delivering a message that matters. Wendy specializes in Leadership Training and Team Building, Public Speaking Competencies, Message Refinement and Media Training.

Thanksgiving came and went, and suddenly the media is flooded with sales and the race is on. “Buy gifts”! Is that it?

December 15th, 2010

I’ve been told I’m a Polly Ana, always seeing the bright side, a cock-eyed optimist, if you will. But I have absolutely no regrets about that – in fact, if it’s been at all infectious; I’m the happier culprit.

I propose a poignant pause this season. A battery charger of the spirit. My partner most recently said to me, “What if each of us carves out some time to contemplate what’s good and difficult in the world. As sure as the days grow shorter and darker, conversely they will grow longer and brighter. Nature has designed the seasons to renew.”

If we stop, even for a moment, to allow our consciousness to expand outward, to consider those less fortunate, to focus on those we love and those in need, perhaps one solitary action at a time can be born of this collective thought. I saw a man give up his lunch to a homeless fellow on the subway today. And moments later I watched a man take an elderly woman who was lost and anxious by the arm and escort her to her destination. Several friends have opted to give and receive donations to their favorite charities in lieu of gifts this year. That could indeed go “viral”, if we choose. What else can we do to alter the course of this commercial holiday cascade  – to renew the season?

As my wise, funny and most loveable mother has said on occasion, “Get your nose out of your navel and take a look around.”

Happiest of holidays and best wishes for a New Year filled with good fortune to you all.

Wendy Scharfman is a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer. She is the founder of Coaching for Effective Communication, a business she created to help her clients become dynamic, confident speakers who can inspire action by delivering a message that matters. Wendy specializes in Leadership Training and Team Building, Public Speaking Competencies, Message Refinement and Media Training.

November 24th, 2010

Social meet-y-a. YIKES. It’s definitely here and apparently not disappearing any time soon. Does that mean we blindly succumb to the trends without understanding what’s in it for us?

I say nay. There is an unparalleled individual in you screaming to be heard. And for that reason, the crazy influx of demanding pressures to conform presents an opportunity to… (Drum roll) differentiate. “Esplain, Lucy”. Don’t mind if I do.

• You and your business will succeed without 1) a squeeze page, 2) putting your “call to action” in every social media message, 4) blogging only four of the best five of anything, so they’ll come back for the fifth, 6) subliminally inserting “buy my stuff” throughout your electronic communication 7) any or all of the above.

• You don’t have to tweet to be heard, blog to be read, or linked in to make a connection to a human being. Numbers do NOT a relationship make. And Facebook is not a competition to have the largest number of “friends” you’ve never met.

• Widgets, apps, CRMs, SEO, Google Analytics, YouTube et al are not determinants of anything… unless you design the criteria for their usage.

There are certainly benefits to social media. The expediency of disseminating information and building relationships are infinitely greater. The ability to create meaning with brevity is certainly useful in this “instant gratification” society. (I recently read a suggestion that voice mail should be 140 characters!) Any invention is replete with ingenuity and creativity. But it is still our choice as to which invention we avail ourselves of.

Your website is an ideal vehicle for providing the best benefits of the services you provide to your clients. A perfect tweet is a sweet freebee of worthwhile content and perhaps the start of a conversation. A blog is a great way to position yourself as an expert in your field. Facebook is a wealth of useful, fabulous information and yours for the taking. Linked In can provide new colleagues and amazing business dialogue and YouTube can be the best message you’ll ever deliver. ALL of this noise is noise UNTIL you to make an informed decision as to what you need and what best serves you. It should resonate with your brain, your heart and the expression of who you are. You drive the communication train and you decide what is necessary and what truly matters.

Wendy Scharfman is a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer. She is the founder of Coaching for Effective Communication, a business she created to help her clients become dynamic, confident speakers who can inspire action by delivering a message that matters. Wendy specializes in Leadership Training and Team Building, Public Speaking Competencies, Message Refinement and Media Training.

November, 3rd, 2010

We’ve all heard this expression, ad nauseam. “Video’s gone viral.” Could be a bad case of the flu. Then again, your 15 minutes may just be what the doctor ordered.

It’s downright painful to watch some marketing videos these days. Either the speaker is robotic or just plain boring, obviously reading a script (badly) and not looking into the camera (i.e. at the audience), or the lighting is so unflattering it looks like the poor guy could use a cup of coffee and some sleep, not necessarily in that order. If you’re going to invest time and expense in creating a video for your business, why not polish it to a real shine so that you and your product or service are bathed in the most flattering light.

Here’s a few tricks of the trade:

Create a dynamic, jazzy script.

It’s not just how great that dress looks; it’s how terrific your message is. Don’t forget to give us value in the words. Design a grrrrrreat opening, fill the video with useful and amusing information and end with some pizzazz (and your offer, if it’s part of the deal.)

Less is more.

For heaven’s sake, don’t do yourself the injustice of yammering on too long. Leave us wanting more…. Of what you’ve got. Capiche? Five minutes is PLENTY long. We are the instant gratification generation. Say it with feeling, but make it snappy. That doesn’t mean you should rush through it – pace is important. SLOW IT DOWN! Use some variation in your vocal dynamic. Make it compelling to listen to you.

Great lighting, please!

Know this. Lighting can make the difference between your looking fabulous or freaky. Take the time to “find the light” and flatter yourself shamelessly. Get some help on this if you need it. LED vs. the light bulb. That’s all I’m saying.

Bonus camera tips.

Use a tripod. Movement, especially the wobbly kind, is not your friend. And that goes for excessive motion on your part. Stand still, relax and focus on talking to us, the audience. Never let them see you flail. And one little extra useful tip – let the camera roll 5 to 10 seconds before you speak. You’ll avoid the potential of cutting off that smashing opening of yours.

Got any great tips you’d like to share?  We’d love to hear them.

Wendy Scharfman is a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer. She is the founder of Coaching for Effective Communication, a business she created to help her clients become dynamic, confident speakers who can inspire action by delivering a message that matters. Wendy specializes in Leadership Training and Team Building, Public Speaking Competencies, Message Refinement and Media Training.

October, 13th, 2010

It’s challenging enough to confidently and concisely get your word out, but technology can either be a great asset or simply a pain in your proverbial keester.  PowerPoint is your friend. Qualitatively speaking, as Glinda asked, “Is it a good witch or a bad witch?”

That depends on how you use it. I have seen some remarkable examples of what NOT do to with PowerPoint and, conversely, some terrific ones that succeed beyond expectation.  Here are my suggestions for the “good witch” version.

• Assume that everyone to whom you are speaking can read.  Pretty safe assumption. That being said, you do not need text on your PowerPoint. Your spoken words are more effective than written text on a screen and the image or visual displayed is therefore a COMPLIMENT to what you say.

• You don’t want text on the screen competing for your attention. You are in the driver’s seat, not the PowerPoint. If you absolutely need to have words on a page, give them a handout. It’s a take-away for your audience and less scrambling for them to take written notes. They’ll LISTEN better. If that is not practical, make ANY words on your visuals minimal, very concise and tied to an image, graphic or easy-to-decipher chart or graph. That is much more memorable and retainable as information. And for heaven’s sake, the font has to be LARGE enough to read… in the back row!!!

• If possible, have some variety on the same slide. You can combine several images to convey a sequence of ideas. There are easy techniques to even have some movement on the screen with one visual leading into another.  A student of mine introduced me to one such program called http://prezi.com. It’s a great way to capture and hold the attention of your audience. And if you’re feeling particularly spunky and creative, a short video can be magical. But I digress…

• As for statistics and those “numbers” you need to impart – how about telling a great story or provide an example of the facts you are about to show and then, instead of a whole table of boring numbers, show only the TOTAL along with an image or graphic. It works like gangbusters. You may even share a chuckle if done with a bit of professional flair.

• Time your slides to appear with your words. You are the primary focus, so bring on the visuals to dramatically enhance what YOU are saying, not the other way around. And be sure to let me know what works for you. I’d love to hear your ideas.

Wendy Scharfman is a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer. She is the founder of Coaching for Effective Communication, a business she created to help her clients become dynamic, confident speakers who can inspire action by delivering a message that matters. Wendy specializes in Leadership Training and Team Building, Public Speaking Competencies, Message Refinement and Media Training.

Do you wake up and hit the ground running these days?  You haven’t even had your morning java and your mind is already swirling with your day’s “to do” list, emails are flooding your mailboxes and the phone is ringing much too early for a civilized conversation. The morass of stimuli coming at you is enough to dampen any spirit.

One hundred years ago, the maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

It stands to reason that the opportunity to stop and smell the roses is exponentially greater when life slows down. But in addition to finding the time nowadays to get back in touch with what “jazzes” us about our work and our lives, we need some “imagine” time. Just a little bit of quality daydreaming.  An article in the Science section of the New York Times (June 28, 2010) suggests that your mind needs a chance to wander. Even in just five minutes a day, a little daydreaming or mind wandering can fire a few synapses for creativity and productivity.

Your enthusiasm for your work life comes from your ability to think beyond borders and if you don’t allow yourself the time and space to refill your energy coffers, you set yourself up for stagnation and the “overwhelm”. In order for your ideas to blossom, they need to be tested by you to see if they are in harmony with your own core values. Find a few minutes to step off the treadmill and get back in touch with the juice of creative imagination. Take a short walk, a bike ride or sit and listen to the birds sing. They are amazingly beautiful.  Listen to some expansive music and see where it takes you.  Think of a time when you felt blissfully happy and recognize the essence there. Reintroduce yourself to your best self and pat yourself on the back for reacquainting with your best friend.  And invite that person to join your day.

Ultimately you want to be seen in the world as an expert in your field because of your infectious enthusiasm for what you love to do and its value to others. Seth Godin says, “Please don’t hire someone who just thinks it’s a job. This category represents the majority of our options, and this category is what gives work a bad name.”

“Alice laughed: “There’s no use trying,” she said; “one can’t believe impossible things.” “I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – Lewis Carroll

Wendy Scharfman is a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer. She is the founder of Coaching for Effective Communication, a business she created to help her clients become dynamic, confident speakers who can inspire action by delivering a message that matters. Wendy specializes in Leadership Training and Team Building, Public Speaking Competencies, Message Refinement and Media Training.

September 1st, 2010

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Every great speaker is a great storyteller.  Why? Because the audience can retain information BETTER when people can emotionally and viscerally connect to what’s being said. If you think back to childhood, stories were – for many of us – an introduction to life ‘s lessons, to human behavior, morals, ethics and right versus wrong. And we remember still the value of those stories and what they taught us, not to mention the vivid imagery they conjure up.

The use of storytelling in business is growing and for good reason. As the necessity of communicating the value and benefit of what you do to the world increases, the skill with which you articulate that requires some imagination and uniqueness in order to capture the audience’s attention… and keep it. By activating the imagination of the audience through stories, you, as the speaker, engage the audience to participate in an experience that is both captivating and informative. It’s a perfect way to connect to the content of your message. The emotional thread of a story is a direct line to the brain for memory retention and the processing of information. In a sense, you are providing an effortless way to learn using a technique that has been instilled in us since childhood.

Here are some great ways to weave a story into your speech or interview:

• Be brief. A story should have a strong beginning, a colorful, clear middle and a great ending. And if the story is within a speech, make it 6-8 sentences. You dissipate the impact of a story if it rambles on too long or is too repetitive. Choose your words wisely and make them count!

• Paint a picture of a great central character and take us to a different time and place. Set it up well and describe it with a few, choice descriptors. Add a bit of dialogue in the character’s vernacular. It will make the character come to life.

• Know WHY you are telling this story. What is the point of your story and how, very specifically, does it tie into your talking points. Make sure you have the connector! And weave it in seamlessly.

• Use some dynamic and inflection in your voice when you tell a story. Incorporate some pacing – don’t rush. Be a little theatrical (little being the operative word) and let us relish the tale.

And remember your story is NOT your bio. Put that in a document. Your story, any story you choose to use in your business communication should be told with humanity and wisdom, a bit of flair and with a take-away for your audience.

Wendy Scharfman is a professional speaker, communication coach and trainer. She is the founder of Coaching for Effective Communication, a business she created to help her clients become dynamic, confident speakers who can inspire action by delivering a message that matters. Wendy specializes in Leadership Training and Team Building, Public Speaking Competencies, Message Refinement and Media Training.